NapCo. Where the saps go.

Probably about a year or so ago my company got with the times and had a key card system installed so that only authorized people could come in the building.  Previous to that we'd occasionally have people come in and wander around convinced there was a dentist in the office, or a lawyer or an accountant.  Fortunately we'd never had an issue with someone who had actual criminal intent, but it was only a matter of time. 

I was all for the key card system, but since it involved a central database which required being on one of our servers and the entire system was connected to our network, I kind of wish IT had been a little more involved in the setup when the electricians came to install the system.  Still, the system was working, in a klugy kind of way, until one day when it didn't. 

When things don't work, people come to me.  Even if I wasn't the one who installed it.

Okay, I said, give me the number of the company, after the electricians, who, as electricians, are excellent at their jobs, but as computer technicians, leave something to be desired.  The electrician did.  A few hours later my day finally freed up enough to call the company, Napco, only to find out they would not let me speak with their support team because I was not an electrician.

Okay.  So we called the electricians back, and asked them to call the company and explain the situation, fully expecting that once we got past the introductions and NapCo had their computer guy on the line, that reasonable heads would prevail and let the two computer people talk directly to each other.  But when the support technician got on the phone, he flatly refused to talk to anyone but the electrician.

"Fine," I said, "Put us on speaker phone."  The electician did, and suddenly the computer technician, like it or not, was talking to me.

"Okay," I said, "I have an 'Unable to located the agent database' error.  What should I do?"

Silence.

After a few moments, the electrician cleared his throat, and repeated my question.  Only after the officially authorized person repeated the question did the NapCo technician answer the question. And so we went on like that, question after question, until we finally got the problem solved.

"Thanks for you help," I said, slightly sarcastically, which my new English-to-English translator duly repeated.

"Thank you for choosing NapCo," the man responded, and hung up before we burst out laughing.

NapCo.  So secure, we won't talk to you.  We don't care if our product sucks.  Go away.  Thanks for choosing NapCo.

tags: new job